I went back to Los Angeles recently. I hadn’t been back since leaving last summer. Almost a year had gone by and I needed to reconnect with the City of Angels.
“Wherever you go, there you are.” Hmmmm. Who said this? And I don’t agree. I haven’t felt like myself for almost a year. Ever since I moved to Asheville from L.A., I have felt off. I knew I needed a change in my life and business, but never anticipated how out of place I would feel by moving here. It’s not that people are mean or unwelcoming. They’re super sweet. My mom and dad visit often, my sister lives here, my daughter has a great little school, and my husband has the job that he used to muse about. I have met some amazing - lifetime friends. This town is beautiful... there are four distinct seasons. Pretty flowers are blooming everywhere. But no, I still don’t feel at home here. I’ve always felt like I was pretty adaptable to most situations. And I’ve tried, and have now given up. Only now, I realize why. This place isn’t for me. I’m not a quitter, fyi. I make things happen. But not for a life or an environment that doesn’t suit my soul.
I didn’t realize this until I went back to L.A. I need sunshine, stimulation, diverse cultures, and a constant sense of wondering what is going to happen next. I felt a sense of playfulness and fun for the week I was away. My new friend, Rachel kept telling me how much fun I was. I laughed and acted silly. I reconnected with friends. I walked past my old store and didn’t feel sad anymore. I felt proud. I had breathed life into a wacky bungalow on an ever evolving street. I had a vision and I made it happen. Check.
So yes, it’s been a great change. But a hard one. A necessary one. But still... one that makes me realize that I don’t have to be so adaptable. I was a Navy brat. I have lived all over the place. Charleston, Guam, Gulfport, Monterey, Okinawa, Jacksonville, Tallahassee, Paris, New York, Philadelphia, Los Angeles, and now... Asheville. I’ve never been able to straight up answer where I was from. And I’m okay with that. And so now when people ask me where I’m “originally” from, I’m going to answer to what my heart says, because I will always have a place there. In L.A. The city of Angels, baby. I’ll be back there soon enough. But now, my home is where my heart is. In my art, spending time with my family, helping up & coming fashion designers realize their own clothing collections. And of course, dreaming of lots of sunshine, world travel and shenanigans.
Tell me, what do you say when people ask you where you are “originally” from?